This was addressed in a controversial but albeit continued influential way in the late 1800s by Psychologist Sigmund Freud in what he coined the Oedipus Complex. There should be a special bond between a mother and a son, in some cultures, it is revered and celebrated. But there are things that you can do to help your son understand how important his mother is to him, and how much she deserves to be treated with respect. Parents must understand the difference between these two scenarios so that they can take steps toward having a healthy relationship with their son if necessary and move past any problems that might arise between them in the future. Many sons treat their mothers poorly and make their life miserable. Raise the issue in a non-confrontational manner as soon possible. When sons are mean to their mothers, it takes a toll on her emotionally and mentally. 5 Signs God Is Trying to Remove Someone from Your Life! Sons who treat their mothers poorly aren't just hurting themselves. It can often be challenging, but with these tips, you can create a healthy mother-son relationship. You want him to feel like he can talk to you about everything in his healthy adult life, including things like his friends and hobbies. Whatever the reason, I feel sorry for any child who disrespects their mom and misses out on one of the most important nurturing and loving relationships they will ever have. Other times, a son might act out because he wants attention from his mother. This final act of estrangement is a characteristic of sons who hate their mothers. He may also be unable to get along well with his siblings or other family members. Peterson attributes the mothers fear of losing her son as a reason for her controlling behavior to manifest itself-to avoid or try to avoid her son leaving her. This is more about helping their son understand where his actions come from so that he can make better choices about treating others around him in the future. What happens when your son treats you poorly? This can often lead to increased bad behavior, such as lying or stealing money from his parents wallets. Your son may want to emulate your behavior, so its important to be an example of healthy relationships by being kind, calm, and patient. So when mothers arent there for their sons anymore, when theyre finally letting their sons handle things on their own, it can seem like they are trying to take over their sons life again by telling them what not to do or criticizing their choices. Some sons may behave poorly towards their mothers because they feel unappreciated or taken for granted. It is also considered a normal way of parenting for mothers who have endured the same behavior from their own mothers. Dont try so hard to keep tabs on what hes doing or who hes hanging out with; instead, let him go out into the world and find his own way through life. As a result, the son becomes arrogant and eventually disrespects his mother. And i guarantee you that nothing hurts as much as a destroyed relationship between you and your mother. Children can be rude because they havent lived long enough to know what else is out there. They're also hurting their mothers, who are often the closest people to them in the world. He may start to believe that he will never be good enough for his mothers approval. When kids are young, its a good idea to teach them to care for other people. They may disrespect their mothers because they divorced their father. This is especially true if shes asingle motherand has been through a divorce. Theyre also hurting their mothers, who are often the closest people to them in the world. It will make him feel like he is not good enough or has done something wrong. Many sons feel that their mothers try to control every aspect of their lives. if(typeof ez_ad_units!='undefined'){ez_ad_units.push([[300,250],'littleninjaparenting_com-sky-3','ezslot_24',116,'0','0'])};__ez_fad_position('div-gpt-ad-littleninjaparenting_com-sky-3-0'); In conclusion, there are often many underlying and connecting issues that lead to sons hating their mothers. Poorly Seasoned Cast Iron - How to Tell and Fix. This goes full circle to show your son how much you care, that youre human, and that youre willing to go to great lengths to build a healthy mother-son relationship. This can lead to sons taking their mothers for granted and forgetting to show them appreciation. Make no mistake about it, abuse does not have to be physical. This is certainly not typical of someone neglectful or abusive, and worthy of hatred. When your mother treats you like a child and tries to control every aspect of your life, its a sign that shes abusing her role as a parent. 6. They may have this hate due to a controlling mother; physical or mental abuse; a mother overstepping boundaries; or being treated differently than a sibling. The mother is overbearing and controlling. Its tempting to get involved in every little thing that goes on in your sons life, but this is one of the worst things you can do if you want to establish healthy mother-son relationships. The key to a healthy mother-son relationship is communication. Why are some sons so mean to their mothers? He needs to make mistakes and learn from them, which he cant do if youre constantly scolding him or telling him what to do. What constitutes a negative relationship with one's mother is a fairly broad set of possibilities, and some negative relationships are . They may feel like they are not good enough or that they do not deserve their mothers love. 2. For further study, you may want to read my articles about sons who treat their mothers poorly and sons closeness to their mothers and fathers, as well as check out the additional resources listed below. If a mother cannot let her son live his own life and continues to stick her nose in where it does not belong, a hateful son may distance himself from her permanently. But this can lead to many problems between a mother and son because he will feel like she is always right. You might think that you know everything there is to know about your son, but its always nice to hear what he has to say. This can cause the son to become angry and resentful towards his mother. They concluded that the males argued more with the mothers, had fewer responsibilities like chores, and could not make decisions like daughters. Estrangement Doesn't Just Happen to "Bad" Moms It Happened to Me Too. Mothers are supposed to love their children equally, but most of us know thats not always the case. For example, issues such as in-laws, marriage, and even divorce were common reasons a son would find estrangement necessary. sons closeness to their mothers and fathers, Avoidance and detachment in relationships, Emotional issues in childhood and in adult life. Tell your child how their behavior is affecting you. This means that she looks to him to make her feel good about herself and she bases her own self-esteem on his approval. This can lead to the son feeling overwhelmed and helpless. This can cause confusion and frustration for the son and may lead to disrespectful behavior. When a mother starts to make her son feel guilty for doing things without her. However, for sons, their negative relationship with their mother more often had ripple effects to break down other relationships. Dysfunctional mother-son relationships can be challenging to overcome, but with the right support and guidance, they can become healthy and loving again. When a son mistreats his mother, it can be hard to know how to respond. The relationship between a mother and her son can be a solid one. How To Get Kids To Do Chores Without Nagging? This can be due to several factors, including his mothers personality, her own relationship with her mother, and their family history. The dysfunction of the mother-son relationship will always affect his other relationships, in either big or small ways, whether the son likes or not. Something a lot of parents feel like they cant do in front of their kids is own up to making mistakes and potentially looking anything less than perfect. The children from mothers who were avoidant, anxious, or ambivalent did not rely on their mothers for support. So be sure to show him how much you care. if(typeof ez_ad_units!='undefined'){ez_ad_units.push([[250,250],'littleninjaparenting_com-leader-4','ezslot_15',155,'0','0'])};__ez_fad_position('div-gpt-ad-littleninjaparenting_com-leader-4-0');The Attachment Theory is about how childhood attachment affects adult relationships. How Long Should You Wait to Ask a Girl to Be Your Girlfriend? 5 Reasons Sons Treat Their Mothers Poorly, Signs Of An Unhealthy Mother-Son Relationship, How To Create A Healthy Mother-Son Relationship. 6. Mothers should talk to their sons gently. This leads to resentment from the son. Their mothers are over-involved in their lives. A manipulative, overprotective, abusive, or controlling mother makes for a toxic relationship between a mother and son. Mothers must try not to get angry as they write the letter. if(typeof ez_ad_units!='undefined'){ez_ad_units.push([[300,250],'littleninjaparenting_com-portrait-2','ezslot_23',161,'0','0'])};__ez_fad_position('div-gpt-ad-littleninjaparenting_com-portrait-2-0'); As shown above, sons who suffer from mental disorders or illness may have irrational and negative feelings towards their mothers, affecting their long-term relationship. eval(ez_write_tag([[320,50],'ciprofamily_com-mobile-leaderboard-1','ezslot_12',600,'0','0']));This list is by no means exhaustive, but it provides a starting point for those who are looking to improve their relationships with their mothers. Its difficult to say why some sons are mean to their mothers. You can also set up consequences for when these boundaries are crossed, but make sure theyre reasonable and that your son will actually follow through with them. It may also damage his relationships with other women. Little Ninja Parenting is supported by participation in affiliate programs. However, there are some points that mothers need to keep in mind so that they do not make their sons resent them later on. This is a huge reason why sons disrespect their mothers. Related Has your son never had a girlfriend? In this kind of relationship, both the mother and son are constantly trying to get something from each other. The study found that participants listed mental health issues and emotional abuse as reasons for their estrangements. document.getElementById( "ak_js_1" ).setAttribute( "value", ( new Date() ).getTime() ); Common Reasons Why Sons Treat Their Mothers Poorly, Tips for Creating a Healthy Mother-Son Relationship, Dont Be Afraid to Ask for Professional Help. This can be a result of the mother feeling insecure in her own relationship with her son, or feeling like shes not getting enough attention from him. According to HUD, on any given night there's an estimated 580,000 homeless people, a staggering number, so what do you do when your son is one of them? Read on as we explore the issue of sons who mistreat their mothers, why sons behave this way, what it does to their mothers, and what mothers can do about it. This can make them less receptive to their mothers attempts to help them with their problems or offer advice about how they should behave. She bad-mouths her sons girlfriend or spouse. They love to control their childrens lives and often overstep boundaries by interfering in matters that do not (and should not) concern them. But unless he continues. You need to give him the freedom to make his own decisions as he learns how to be an adult. (If youd like more on Jordan Peterson and his perspective on lifes issues, his latest book, Beyond Order: 12 More Rules for Life is now available at Amazon.) Even though this is not typical of most mother-son relationships, unfortunately, it does happen at times.if(typeof ez_ad_units!='undefined'){ez_ad_units.push([[250,250],'littleninjaparenting_com-sky-4','ezslot_25',162,'0','0'])};__ez_fad_position('div-gpt-ad-littleninjaparenting_com-sky-4-0'); To recap, some factors or causes leading to sons hating their mothers are: Although this is a complicated issue, I hope Ive shed some light on it for you. It could also give you some insight into whats going on in his life, which can help you be more supportive of him as he grows up. She's hoping her experience with parenting and everything in between can help other moms navigate the complex world of motherhood. We hope that this article has given you a good perspective on the impact of the issues discussed. Spouse Substitute. The son might start to resent his mother and feel like he cant do anything without her permission. 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